dream on

I walk through the forest

with you hand in hand –

a dream put on silent

that the two of us share.

It’s a cluster of letters,

words thought, yet unsaid;

they float, they surround us –

an encompassing thread.

May be an effort, exhausting;

no, we don’t stop and stare.

Instead we continue,

and together we bear.

Together we are

and together may we be,

for the years to come

that we cannot yet foresee.

It’s long and it’s winding

the road that we’re on

but we know it will take us

to that dream we both own.

all good

A mild August night and I am sitting on the edge of the cliff beneath the silver moonlight, breathing in the salty summer breeze. It was over. You have said it in a phone call. Loud and clear: Goodbye.

I wonder why people keep saying ‘Goodbye’ when my byes have never been anything but bad.

Just like this one.

I should have known better and not been so naive. Long-distance never works; it’s either here and now or it’s not at all. There’s no in-between. 

“Yes, baby, I’ll write you letters…”

No, baby, you won’t.

Bitter is the end of any badly thought out decision and even more so are the tears that I keep crying. But they are slowly drying out, leaving behind nothing but tiny salt crystals on my sides. To be taken away by the breeze.

The night air is soothing and so is the serenity of the place. It’s been years since I’ve come here – the last time with a childhood friend, who has promised to never let me go.

I close my eyes and feel them burn under my eyelids. I give them a moment to relax and as I open them again, I feel a warm hand on my shoulder. Fear. Seconds turn into minutes as I slowly turn to face the person behind me. And then a deep breath: two familiar eyes and a friendly smile. It’s been a while since we’ve been here together. I feel like a kid all over again.

Suddenly, everything falls into place: the night, the breeze, the warmth, the embrace.

I let him hold me close as I attempt to make my heart calm down. All’s good, one more time. I have buried my face on his chest, secretly wiping away the tears of joy with his shirt. My fingers have fiercely clung to his back. Slowly, he slides his hands down my body and gently places them on my waist. I shiver. His breath tickles my neck and I feel the urge to pull him even closer.

Instead, he does.

I realize I have never felt safer, but I can’t find the words to tell him. My mind has gone completely blank. He breaths my scent in and moves his arms back up. He takes a step back to lay his eyes on mine and gently takes my face in his hands. His touch whispers Trust me and his look says I love you. I listen to him and fall into his arms once more as his lips press against my forehead. I want the moment to last forever: the two of us on the edge of the cliff, just like years before.

Together. A girl and her friend – a friend, who never let her go.

cool to be on top

Yes, me is who I am and you is who I’m not. And yes, your life is a misconception. And no, you’re so not better.

In the world you live in, you’re God. You’re always right and you’re always great. No one can touch you. Awesome. Just one thing: you’re wrong. Oh-but-I…

No I-s and no but-s. Oh, and no oh-s.

Who are you to tell me how my life is going to go? Who are you to tell me I’m a failure?! Who, the hell, are you to judge me? That I don’t have what it takes, that I’ll never be good enough, that I’m not like you and that I’ll never be?! Well, you know what? I’m glad I’ll never be. Because I…am so much better.

A dreamer, you would call me. Fine, I dream. But at least I go after my dreams. I run. And that’s why I am half way through to them already, whereas you are where again?! Oh, yes: you’re on top of the world, pointing your finger at the ones below you; telling them that they’ll never reach you. That they’ll never be any good.

Fair enough.

And no, not for you. For them, everyone else. Because one day, not too long from now, your world will crumble and your pride will fall to pieces. And you’ll be laughed at; and pointed at. Humiliated. You’ll be coming back but no one will be looking for you. Because this is how life goes: you have to respect in order to be respected, believe in order for others to believe in you.

You need to give in order to take.

You’ve taken a lot from me and it’s time for you to pay your dues. Life’s a bitch, ain’t it? It’s never too late to taste it, so be my guest.

action

His body was burning with desire, quickly losing control. She dominated his mind.

The way she danced across the floor made his fantasies go wild; the way her hair followed every move of hers set his dirty thoughts soaring. Her scent made him high.

He was her subordinate.

His eyes were wandering around the place, tirelessly looking for her. She had gone to get drinks, but it was taking her too long. He was getting impatient. Indeed. The animal instinct within his body was slowly waking up for another night of raw emotions.

A ray of blond crossed his sight, reflecting the shimmering light in the club. She was back and in time to satisfy his needs. He found it hard to control himself. He had clenched his teeth, waiting for the moment to give in to the arousal. His breathing fast.

He was like a vulture about to attack its prey.

She was used to that. It was her job to give men a break from life. The way they wanted it. She has had them all: sweet, rough, gentle, aggressive. Even cruel. Another one wouldn’t have made much of a difference. For her, it was money. For him, it was satisfaction.

None of them really cared.

They didn’t care much while they were at the club table, exploring each other’s bodies with a frantic physical desire. They didn’t even care when his tongue pressed against her neck, down at her chest and made its way back up to her mouth. Or when his hand slid between her legs and then swiftly under her skirt. She was stone cold. Not a single fiber of her body trembled. His, however, was out of control; his lines – distorted beyond recognition.

It was all a big scene and they were the actors.

It wasn’t real when he let her into his apartment and pushed her against the door even before it had completely closed. She moaned with pain. He didn’t care. He tore her top apart and let it slide to the floor; her bra he undid with his teeth. Her skirt wasn’t in the way at all anymore. His eyes were sparkling with perversion. To him, it couldn’t get any hotter. She, on the other hand, found it routine, and even a little boring.

But there they were, in the spotlight. The show was about to start.

No more inhibitions. Not until the end of the night.