all good

A mild August night and I am sitting on the edge of the cliff beneath the silver moonlight, breathing in the salty summer breeze. It was over. You have said it in a phone call. Loud and clear: Goodbye.

I wonder why people keep saying ‘Goodbye’ when my byes have never been anything but bad.

Just like this one.

I should have known better and not been so naive. Long-distance never works; it’s either here and now or it’s not at all. There’s no in-between. 

“Yes, baby, I’ll write you letters…”

No, baby, you won’t.

Bitter is the end of any badly thought out decision and even more so are the tears that I keep crying. But they are slowly drying out, leaving behind nothing but tiny salt crystals on my sides. To be taken away by the breeze.

The night air is soothing and so is the serenity of the place. It’s been years since I’ve come here – the last time with a childhood friend, who has promised to never let me go.

I close my eyes and feel them burn under my eyelids. I give them a moment to relax and as I open them again, I feel a warm hand on my shoulder. Fear. Seconds turn into minutes as I slowly turn to face the person behind me. And then a deep breath: two familiar eyes and a friendly smile. It’s been a while since we’ve been here together. I feel like a kid all over again.

Suddenly, everything falls into place: the night, the breeze, the warmth, the embrace.

I let him hold me close as I attempt to make my heart calm down. All’s good, one more time. I have buried my face on his chest, secretly wiping away the tears of joy with his shirt. My fingers have fiercely clung to his back. Slowly, he slides his hands down my body and gently places them on my waist. I shiver. His breath tickles my neck and I feel the urge to pull him even closer.

Instead, he does.

I realize I have never felt safer, but I can’t find the words to tell him. My mind has gone completely blank. He breaths my scent in and moves his arms back up. He takes a step back to lay his eyes on mine and gently takes my face in his hands. His touch whispers Trust me and his look says I love you. I listen to him and fall into his arms once more as his lips press against my forehead. I want the moment to last forever: the two of us on the edge of the cliff, just like years before.

Together. A girl and her friend – a friend, who never let her go.