Always

“It’s right there … There!”

“Where?”

“Right there! Right next to the big cloud!”

…

“Tod?”

…
“Tod?”
“Yes, what?! I really don’t see anything …”
“But there’s the ‘S’ and the four dots after it. The clouds spell out his name. Well … almost.”
“You’re going crazy, girl. There’s nothing “up there”. Those are just clouds – meaning it’s going to be rainy tomorrow …”

Tod. My big brother. My best friend. And yet, sometimes I really have the desire to punch him. How can’t he see it?!
He says I’ve been obsessed with the will to see him again, since you know … since it happened. And I don’t know … perhaps he’s right. But I do miss him. I never thought I could ever feel so low. But I know he’s happy there … wherever this “there” is. And he wants me … us to be happy, too. That’s all he ever wanted. No matter how annoying or even impossible we’d be sometimes, he would never give up loving us. And now, even though he’s not among us any more, I still know he’s a part of me … and always will be.

“Take a better look! You can’t be that blind!”
“Oh … yes, right next to the twinkling dot … right?!”
“Man, you’re hopeless … NO! … Forget it. It doesn’t matter.”

But it did. It did matter. More than ever before.

It was a clear night out there and so was the dark sky’s message – even more precise than before: S....

I did not bother to turn to Tod … I knew he wouldn’t see. He’s like that, excuse him. It’s not his fault, though. I am sure deep down he believes it was you. Because … you’ll always be in our hearts … we will never ever forget you …

We love you, grandpa!